What is bondage and how to get started? An Introduction

If we said the words handcuffs, whips, and ropes, what would you think? Criminals and punishment? Nope! We’re talking about kink. These are, in fact, the ingredients for a sexy night of bondage play.

If we were to say the name Mr Grey, does it become any clearer? The kind of bondage he’s famous for is exactly what we’re talking about!

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woman on her knees in white lingerie role-playing bondage

Sure, Mr Grey is fictional, but real bondage is practised and enjoyed every day all over the world. But most people don’t know much about it besides the central role it plays in 50 Shades of Grey. What is bondage? What bondage gear is the best? And what are the benefits of exploring it?

Bondage: What is it?

Bondage is a sexual practice that’s defined by one partner being submissive and the other dominant. People practice it to experience extreme physical and mental pleasure.

The word “bondage” refers to physical restraint and, more widely, enslavement and a lack of freedom. In the world of sex, bondage is part of a sexual fetish that involves one partner physically restraining the other in a way that limits their sensory perception and movement - and makes them feel “enslaved”.

What makes kinky bondage different from the real thing? It’s role-playing! Both partners fully consent to what they do to each other, and have a discussion beforehand to agree on what they want to happen. The dominant partner will restrain their sub using whatever bondage gear they choose - handcuffs, ropes, straps, tape… the list goes on!

Bondage is a part of BDSM. BDSM is an acronym for Bondage/Discipline, Domination/Submission, Sadism/Masochism. These erotic practices are also part of the infinite world of sexual fetish.

Among all the different BDSM practices out there, bondage is one of the softest. But kinksters can make it intense if they want to! What is bondage all about? Physical restraint! And that means there is a danger of getting hurt.

That’s why it’s essential for partners to agree on the specifics of their BDSM bondage play before they start. Remember the contract Anastasia had to sign in 50 Shades of Grey? That might be a fictional example, but it shows how important consent is in these situations.

If you stick to your boundaries and both partners know what they’re doing, bondage is a way to enjoy serious pleasure, psychological connection and intense orgasms.

How to practice bondage: Bondage for beginners and extreme kinksters

As we’ve mentioned, when partners practice bondage, it will always involve one partner being physically restrained by the other. This is usually using a device with which they tie or bind their body. There are many different ways to explore it, from soft to extreme.

Techniques will differ according to what bondage equipment you use. Here is a list of different bondage techniques, so you can figure out what kind of restraint is for you!

Limb restraint: This is exactly what it sounds like - the restraint of body parts! And it’s a good intro to bondage for beginners. Limb restraint usually involves either parts of the upper or lower body (like the wrists or ankles) being tied together with a piece of equipment (like rope). Frequently, the dom will bring the sub’s hands behind their back and tie them together. You can use almost anything for this, even pantyhose! You can also use handcuffs to up the role-playing fun.
Spreading of body parts: Do you know that scene in the movie where Christian ties Anastasia's ankles to a bar? This piece of bondage equipment forces the sub to keep their legs apart.
Tying to anchor points: This is for more extreme bondage practitioners. It involves tying parts of a sub’s body to other objects - normally furniture. An example of this is when a sub will have their arms and legs tied to the edges of a bed so their body makes an X shape.
Full body restraint: This is any kind of bondage that stops the sub from being able to move any part of their body. This could mean a sub is curled on the floor with their wrists and feet both bound behind their back. It could involve a sub sitting on the floor in a ball position with ropes around their wrists, ankles and entire body. It could involve the addition of a mouth gag. Practice is advised before trying these!
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Body suspension: This is practiced by people who are serious bondage experts. This technique leads to the sub being tied to and suspended from something, like a wall or a contraption that is built into the ceiling. A common suspension technique involves wrapping the sub’s entire body in a rope that is attached to the ceiling. There is lots of equipment designed especially for this. And, as you’d expect, this is an intense experience for both sub and dom, so it’s recommended only for the most experienced bondage lovers!

Bondage for beginners kits: The equipment every bondage-lover needs

Let’s return to 50 Shades of Grey. Remember the red playroom? Well, you don't need an entire room to practice BDSM bondage! Everyday objects like belts and scarves can be enough to get you in the mood and add some kinky excitement to the bedroom. But if you want to get serious, beginner bondage kits are available all over the internet. What does a good kit contain? Here’s our list of essentials:

The Magic Wand. This is a wand-shaped object that has feathers or a similarly soft material at one end. It is used to caress and stimulate your lover’s body in a way that pleasurably compliments rough play.
Nipple clamps
Whip
Ball gag
Collar
Rope, tape, cuffs or another restraint tool
Blindfold

A perfect set will contain all these pieces of bondage equipment. The restraint tool, however, is the most important one. There is an entire branch of BDSM bondage that’s entirely dedicated to restraining people with rope: Shibari.

"Shibari" is a Japanese word that means “to tie”. It’s a Japanese discipline that involves one person binding another one with rope. It’s often erotic, but not always. Today it’s considered an art form. Among the photos offered in the Panty.com marketplace, there are many that depict bondage scenes. And they’re growing in popularity every day!

shibari bondage man tied with black and white rope

What is bondage? It’s fun! So let’s not forget about one of the best parts of this fetish: bondage clothing. In this kinky world of slaves and masters, black, leather, and latex clothing is usually the most popular. As are harnesses, collars, and even chastity restraint items!

woman in black lingerie bondage clothing

Bondage: Why it’s good for you and how to do it safely

Bondage involves a sub giving total control of their body to a dom. This makes trust and communication essential. Couples who enjoy restraint and similar BDSM practices generally enjoy heightened intimacy and trust in their relationship.

People who practice BDSM bondage and other kinky things in the bedroom generally have not only better sex lives, but higher self-esteem, increased confidence and open minds.

As we’ve mentioned, bondage, in its extreme nature, can be risky as well as pleasurable. Partners must communicate beforehand and throughout the session by regularly checking in and making sure they’re both happy. They must also establish a safe word, i.e. a word that, when spoken, puts an end to the play.

Bondage is not just the stuff of movies. There are many groups and communities across the world where people come together and share their love for this fetish. If you’re not ready to attend a bondage party quite yet, you can easily start exploring it at home. What is bondage about if not experimentation? All you need is a scarf, tie, or anything similar!

Have fun, stay safe and get kinky.