Writing to a seller: what to ask before you order
Reviewed by the panty.com team
A good first message
Write from the listing itself, so the listing is attached to the chat and she doesn't have to guess which one you mean. Then keep it to three parts:
- A greeting and the listing: "Hi, I like your black cotton briefs."
- One or two questions the listing doesn't answer: how long she'd wear them, how she packs, whether she ships to your country.
- What you'd like to happen: "If it works for both of us, I'd like to order this week."
A first message that reads like a polite enquiry gets treated like one. Long introductions, lists of demands and six messages in a row don't help; one clear message does.
The eight things to agree before you order
Most listings don't cover every detail, and the order itself carries little more than the price. Agree these in the chat, so you both have them in writing:
- The total price: pair, postage and any extras, as one number.
- Days worn: if "Worn for" says "Ask me", agree the number of days.
- Packaging: a sealed bag inside a plain envelope or box, with nothing on the outside that hints at what's inside.
- The address: your home, a PO box, a parcel locker or a collection (pickup) point. Give her only what she needs to post it.
- The posting date: when she'll send it, and that she'll mark it as sent.
- Payment: which payment method, and who goes first.
- Customs, if she's abroad: what goes on the form and who pays any charges.
- If it goes missing: tracked or not, and what you'll both do if it doesn't arrive.
On payment: the money goes from you to her directly and never passes through panty.com, so panty.com can't reverse it. Payment methods differ in what happens afterwards: with a US credit card, a charge for goods not delivered as agreed can be disputed in writing within 60 days of the first statement that shows it, while many other methods offer no such route. Agree on the method, and keep proof of payment.
On customs: a pair she sends from another country needs a truthful customs declaration, and you may have to pay import charges on delivery. For parcels into the US, the low-value duty exemption no longer applies, and anything you've paid for never counts as a gift. The shipping guide has the details by country.
What not to send
Some messages end a conversation, or get you reported.
- Pressure: "answer now", "last chance", repeated messages within the hour.
- Anything explicit she didn't ask for. It falls under the report reason "Harassment or abuse", which covers unwanted explicit content.
- "Can we continue somewhere else?" Pushing to chat or pay somewhere else is a report reason of its own: "Wants to move off panty.com". Staying in the chat protects you as much as her.
- Requests for free extra photos or a "verification" photo. The listing photos are what she offers; anything more is hers to suggest.
- Questions about who she is. Her nickname is all anyone on panty.com needs.
When there's no reply
No answer isn't always a no. Buyers write for free, but sellers need Premium to read and reply: without it, she sees that you wrote, not what you wrote.
65% of first messages get an answer at all. 59% get one within a day. Give her a day. If nothing comes, send one short follow-up, then write to another seller with a similar listing. Writing to several sellers is fine; sending the same seller the same message twice isn't.
Ordering and offers
Once you've agreed the details, order from the listing. Ordering is free, and an order from a listing with a price is for that price. If you agreed on a different price or a bundle in the chat, she can send you an offer, and accepting it places the order. When the parcel goes out, she marks it as sent, and you confirm when it arrives. You can both see which stage the order is at.
Before you order, read her reviews for what they say, not for the stars: most reviews give full marks, so what they say about packing and timing tells you more. Buyers wrote 2,962 reviews of sellers in the last year. Once your own order is complete, you can review her too. If something isn't as agreed when it arrives, tell her in the chat first; the safety guide covers what to do if that doesn't help.
Sources
Questions
Is it OK to ask how long a pair will be worn?
Yes. It's one of the most common questions, and many listings leave it open on purpose with "Ask me". Agree the number of days in the chat and include any extra days in the price.
Can I ask for specific packaging?
Yes, before you order. A sealed bag inside a plain outer envelope is the usual request. Ask her to put nothing on the outside that hints at what's inside, and agree on the address it goes to.
She hasn't answered. What does that mean?
Often that she hasn't read your message yet: sellers need Premium to read and reply. Give it a day, send one short follow-up, and if nothing comes, write to another seller with a similar listing.
Can I suggest a lower price?
Yes, in the chat. An order from a listing with a price is always for that price, so if she agrees to less, she sends you an offer at the new price, and accepting it places the order. Each seller can send you only one offer, so settle the details first.
Should I pay before she ships?
That's the usual order, and you agree it in the chat. With a seller you don't know yet, start with one pair, choose a payment method you understand and keep proof of payment. The safety guide explains the warning signs to watch for.