Staying safe: scams, payments and pressure

Why panty.com can't refund you

The buyer pays the seller directly, in whatever way the two of them agree in the chat. panty.com takes no commission and never holds the money, so there is nothing on the site to freeze, refund or hold back. That is why this page is about decisions you make before anyone pays.

What the site does do: every report goes to the moderation team, a block ends contact in both directions, and the chat keeps a written record of what was agreed. Agree the total, the postage, the payment type and who goes first in the chat on panty.com, not on the phone or in another app, so that record exists.

The one decision that matters: who goes first

The usual order is that the buyer pays and she ships. That puts the risk on the buyer, so the way it's paid matters as much as the amount. Payment types behave very differently when something goes wrong:

• Card payments can be disputed by the payer. In the US, the Fair Credit Billing Act lets cardholders dispute a charge for goods not delivered as agreed, in writing, within 60 days of the first statement that shows it. For a seller, that means a card payment can come back after the parcel has gone.
• Payment apps are what fake payment notifications imitate. The FTC's advice to sellers: don't accept a mobile payment from someone you don't know.
• Bank transfers need the seller's account details, which usually means her legal name. More on that in selling anonymously.
• Gift cards and prepaid vouchers are the classic scam payment. In the FTC's words, "no real business or government agency will ever tell you to buy a gift card to pay them": the card number and PIN are enough to take the money. France's national cyber-help service tells sellers to refuse such "alternative" payment methods, prepaid coupons and cash-transfer services included, because scams so often use them.
• Crypto is final. The FTC says crypto payments typically aren't reversible and don't come with the protections cards have.

Fair middle grounds

With someone you haven't dealt with before, start with one item rather than a bundle. Buyers: read her reviews first (more below). Sellers: post at a counter, keep the receipt with the tracking number, put the number in the chat and mark the deal as sold; the buyer confirms when the parcel arrives. The shipping guide covers proof of posting.

Six patterns, and what they look like in the chat

Each pattern names the report reason that fits best. Report is on every member's profile, next to Block.

1. The payment confirmation that isn't money

What it looks like: a screenshot of a completed payment, or an email saying the money is "pending until you send the tracking number". The FTC describes exactly this: a fake notification sent in the hope that you ship before you notice. What to do: open your banking or payment app yourself, not a link from the message, and ship when the amount is in your account. Report reason: Illegal activity.

2. Overpayment and "send back the difference"

What it looks like: the buyer pays more than agreed, by mistake or with a story, and asks you to refund the extra. The FTC warns that a fake cheque can take weeks to be discovered, and the person who deposited it pays the bank back. What to do: refund nothing until your bank confirms the payment is final, as the French cyber-help service advises; better still, refuse any payment above the agreed price. Report reason: Illegal activity.

3. "Can we continue on another app?"

What it looks like: a request to move to a messenger, email or phone "because it's easier", often in the first message. Off the site you can't report or block them here, and the written record of what was agreed stays behind. What to do: say no once and keep writing on panty.com. Report reason: Spam, with a line in the note saying they asked to leave panty.com.

4. The "verification photo" and the free sample

What it looks like: a buyer who wants an extra photo "to check you're real", a picture of a document, or free panties before agreeing to anything. What to do: your listing photos are the only photos you owe anyone, and no buyer needs your ID. If the asking turns into pressure, end the chat. Report reason: Abuse or harassment; Stolen photos or copyright if it's a copied profile.

5. Codes, card numbers and log-ins

What it looks like: "send me the code you just got so I can check you're real", or a request for card details to "pay you directly". The FTC describes buyers who ask for the verification code sent to your phone and use it to set up a Google Voice number linked to your number. What to do: never send a code, a password or card details in a message. The FBI's IC3 advises unique passphrases, multi-factor authentication and never sharing log-in details. Report reason: Illegal activity.

6. Hurry, guilt and favours

What it looks like: "pay in the next ten minutes or she sells to someone else", a sad story that ends in an advance, a discount demanded after the parcel has left. What to do: anything that has to happen before you've had time to read the chat twice can wait until you have. Reply once, plainly, and stop. Report reason: Abuse or harassment if it turns into threats; Illegal activity if money is asked for up front.

For sellers: threats and sextortion

A threat to share your photos or to tell people who you are unless you pay is extortion. The UK National Crime Agency's advice to adults:

1. Stop all contact and block the person everywhere they reached you. On panty.com, report with the reason Abuse or harassment, then block the member.
2. Don't pay. The NCA says there is no guarantee paying stops the threats.
3. Keep the evidence. Don't delete messages, images or payment details; screenshot the chat with the nickname visible. Deactivate other accounts rather than deleting them.
4. Go to the police. In the UK, call 101, or 999 if you feel at immediate risk. Fraud and cybercrime in England, Wales and Northern Ireland can also be reported to Report Fraud; in Scotland, Police Scotland takes reports on 101. In the US, report at ic3.gov. Elsewhere, your local police.
5. Stop the images spreading. StopNCII is a free tool, named by the NCA, that helps detect and remove intimate images shared online. The NCA also points UK adults to the Revenge Porn Helpline, which is free and confidential.

The FBI warns about for-profit companies that charge people in this situation for "help". Police and non-profit services help free of charge. To make all this less likely in the first place, see what can identify you.

For buyers: telling a real seller from a fake

• Check the photos. Run a listing photo through a reverse image search. If it shows up on unrelated pages, ask her about it before you pay anything.
• Read the reviews, not the stars. Buyers wrote 2,938 reviews of sellers on panty.com in the last year. A review can only be written after a deal both sides confirmed, so each one stands for a parcel that arrived. Most give full marks, so read the text, not just the stars.
• Silence isn't a sign of a scam. Sellers read and reply with Premium, so some answer later. 57% of first messages get a reply within a day. Half of all replies come within 63 min.
• Nothing is paid before everything is agreed. Price, postage, payment type and packaging first. What to ask a seller has the full list.

Reporting and blocking on panty.com

Reports are confidential: nobody is told who sent one. Each goes to the moderation team with the reason you chose and, if you like, a few lines on what happened and what was said. The five reasons are Contact details on the profile, Spam, Abuse or harassment, Illegal activity, and Stolen photos or copyright. Pick the closest one and say the rest in the note.

Blocking works on its own or together with a report. Once you block someone, neither of you can message the other and you stop seeing each other in lists. You can undo it in Settings, under Blocked.

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